(Pronounced like this. Stupid spelling, I know)
Maryiah and I dated for a couple of weeks in Junior high. She was my first taste of ethnic lady, and let me say I was hooked. She was fly-er than Mark McGrath with a booty from heaven.
Unfortunately, we only got to spend time together in school, so we never really got a chance to really hang out. We wrote notes to each other all the time (obviously) but never really got to spend any REAL one-on-one time together. One time we were in the library sitting in the racecar you could read books in when she tried to kiss me, but in my youthful ignorance, didn't realize till later that a sweet piece of tongue action could have been mine.
As the relationship progresses (and this was a lengthy one by 7th grade standards), our notes became more and more graphic. At one point we were writing about whipped cream, honey, and cherries, because of a sex scene I saw on the late, great Nash Bridges program.
Inevitably, my parents found these notes, along with my steamy cards from the Renaissance Festival Kiss Cards. Because of all the lewd-ity in the small pocket of my Jansport, I wasn't allowed to see Maryiah anymore. The lack of smooching combined with the difficulty of weaseling my way into a situation where I COULD actually smooch with my lady convinced me to actually put up with their guidance and break up with Maryiah.
For some reason this was completely devastating to Maryiah and she never wanted to see me again. It wasn't for a whole month that we finally had contact where instead of speaking to me, she handed me a note. Excited to see where this was going, I ran to the bathroom and opened it up. It wasn't long, but got the point across well.
"Daniel,
I still hate you, but I don't want you to think it's your fault I'm a lesbian now. I will always love you."
I know now the note doesn't make any sense, but my reaction made even less. For some reason in my 12 year old head, the knowledge that I had in some way contributed to two girls kissing was enough for me. I dubbed myself a sex god.
