Tim and Staci

I remember my brother's first kiss better than he does.

I suppose this starts the fateful winter day when Brian and Jacob move in across the street from me. Chris Chambers, whose mother is a clown, and I are discussing at great length Amy Jo Johnson's best assets when a moving truck stopped at the house in front of us. With wide eyes, Chris and I watched as Nicole, the babeliest of all older sisters opened the door and slid out of the passenger seat, one beautiful, smooth leg at a time.

A car pulled up behind the truck and parked in the driveway. Enter Briand and Jacob. These boys were to become my best friends for the next few years, after Chris Chambers' mother and brothers get arrested for selling marijuana and he moves in with his Catholic grandmother in Galveston.

That summer, Brian, Jacob and I were swimming in their pool when we realized that my brother Tim is the same age as their sister Staci. For some reason, the only logical stepping stone from that realization was to have a pool wedding. I went home to drag Tim away from playing Final Fantasy VI long enough for this to happen. I told him we were having a race where all the losers had to pitch in on buying Breath of Fire II, one of the sweetest RPGs out at the time.

Tim, the self proclaimed "half waterbug, half boy," assumed he would win the race, so he throws on his board shorts and we race across the street to see Staci with a halo of flowers standing in the shallow end of the pool waiting for him. Confused, Tim looks at me, but doesn't suspect a thing and climbs into the pool. Brian starts the ceremony by revealing to Tim why everyone was gathered there that day. Tim starts to get nervous, but realizes that maybe he's a little in love with Staci.

We quickly run through the ceremony saying why we're there and all that. When we get to the exchanging of rings, we realize we don't have one. Being the creative boys we are, we decide that Brian and Jacob doing simultaneous can openers while I do a front flip over the couple while they kiss is ring enough.

Tim choked. "Kiss?"
"Come on, Tim! We're already this far. Just a peck on the lips! That's all you have to do."
Tim, exasperated as always, sighs and decides it's not worth the beating he'd get if he argued.

I shout the orders.
"ONE!"
Brian and Jacob kneel a little, preparing for their leap.
"TWO!"
Tim and Staci look at each other awkwardly.
"THREE!"
I run to the end of the diving board and fling myself, head over feet, in appropriate wedding manner.

A splash heard from the heavens rings out across the entire City of Conroe. When I come up from the water, I see Tim and Staci still in lip-lock. Not wanting to ruin the moment, I reflect. Then I hear Jacob scream "GROSS" and we splash them.